Behaviour – it’s just communication!

Children’s behaviour …. One of the world’s most interesting phenomenon. It has been researched for decades and many ‘causes’  have been identified, parenting styles have changed however more and more children are displaying ‘challenging behaviours’ which require medical attention and/or support.

But have we got it wrong? Are we looking at behaviour as something negative?  When we say “challenging behaviour” have we already placed it in to the “too hard” basket? Have we made it challenging before we have started to understand it?

So I pose another concept… behaviour is obviously influenced by many things, which we shall explore… however let’s look at behaviour as a child’s way of communicating.  Once we perceive it differently-  not as a challenge, but rather a way a child tries to communicate THEIR challenges to us we begin to “see” it in a different light.

So let’s first look at possible influences;

Temperament

We are all born with a personality and temperament and some are more difficult or more easy going than others. A child’s temperament, especially if they are classified as “difficult” will have challenges with transitions, separation, change, emotional reactions and may be viewed as displaying a high activity level. So consider temperament- how can we support this child to feel safe and relaxed throughout the day? http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=303

Environment

The environment plays a significant role in how we feel and hence behave. Sounds, colours, visuals, smells all have a physiological affect on us. Think about your environment… is it too loud, its is visually chaotic? Are transitions smooth and developmentally appropriate (e.g. we don’t expect 2 year olds to line up and wait). Do children have long periods of uninterrupted time to engage or is the day rushed? Do educators role model respect and appreciation for the environments, its resources and relationships?

Trust & Identity

We all want to be appreciated and feel connected – this is a basic human need. Young children especially under 5 years need to feel physically and emotionally connected, hence our relationships with all children are critical to creating a sense of trust between you and the child. When a child develops trust and attachment they feel safe to explore, engage, build relationships with others and communicate.

Family Context

We often connect “challenging behaviours” with parenting and while inconsistent parenting can exacerbate certain behaviours we must never just look at or blame the family. Children’s lives are influenced by a much larger context such as extended family, culture, friends, child care environments and more. I often hear “parents are in denial” and these statements of perceptions do not help. Parents may be afraid, confused or unsure of what we are raising. Children may in actual fact demonstrate certain behaviours at the service and not at home. It is important as educators that we look at this from a parent perspective and engage in dialogue that it supportive and about the family and service working collaboratively. It is also about the use of words… try to avoid labels and describe the child’s developmental needs and what their rights are.

So behaviour is influenced by many things and by no means is the list above exhaustive.. it only touches the surface! So, let’s now consider;

Behaviour as another form of Communication

Children are complex beings, learning and developing every day. They take in their world and are influenced by many things. They are starting to learn the very early stages of self regulation (which does not mature until over 20 years of age!) and their decision making abilities are influenced by the brain’s immature frontal lobe that supports self-control.

Hence, managing their emotions, feelings and reactions is a huge challenge for the child. Consider when we also react, give further instructions, remove children from play or are inconsistent this creates greater confusion and often increased emotional responses by the child.

So knowing this- influences and brain development we need to look at children’s behaviour as another form of communication… some possible questions you might consider;

– what is happening for this child?

– what does this child need right now based on their age/ development/ temperament?

– am I meeting this child’s needs- am I listening?

– does our environment and/or experiences support this child’s learning style and temperament?

– does this child feel safe?

– does this child have an attachment with our educators?

– can this child make decisions and feel supported?

– do we consider this child’s point of view even in a conflict?

However more importantly, what are this child’s rights and do I acknowledge these?

If you would like more information on Supporting Children’s Behaviour feel free to book into my Behaviour Staff PD on-line webinar on Tuesday 23rd August 2016.  For more information go to:  http://earlyyearstraining.com.au/workshops/staff/